


Unequivocally

by Jinx72



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Crying, Deceit is a good boyfriend, Food mention, Hurt/Comfort, Kisses, M/M, Mentions of self destructive tendencies, Repression, Roman Angst, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, roman really goes through the motions huh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:08:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23335912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinx72/pseuds/Jinx72
Summary: Roman is very good at pretending that he's okay. He's got the art down. But there's only so many times he can pull this trick against his boyfriend. Deceit is too observant for his own good.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 19
Kudos: 251





	Unequivocally

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo. This is cross-posted from my tumblr so if you've read this before, don't be alarmed! I was asked if it was posted on Ao3, and I happened to be tossing up whether I should post it so that answered my question.   
> This one's for you, enby-ralsei.
> 
> Please do not repost to other sites; because that is stealing.  
> Enjoy the fic!

Deceit kissed him softly, and Roman sighed.  
It was a perfect sigh, a happy sigh, and a practiced one at that.

Roman knew exactly how to act to seem okay. He knew exactly how to kiss Deceit back, exactly how to sling his arms around his love's neck and sigh contentedly. He knew _exactly_ how to act.

"Roman," Deceit murmured against his lips, and the pure fondness sent a shiver down his spine. It was a double-edged sword, that chill. It was a wonderful hunger for _more,_ to chase those sweet kisses and linger over them all night long. The other edge ripped through him, cold and merciless, and judging by how the guilt settled in his stomach, Roman could tell what sort of a night it was going to be.

But it wasn't Deceit's fault. Deceit was kissing him just right. It seemed that even in his most quiet, intimate, and unseen moments, Roman _still_ just... wasn't enough.

He let Deceit deepen the kiss, surrendering dreamily just as Deceit expected him to, and when they broke for air, Roman guided his lips upward in a soft smile he practiced every day in the mirror. Deceit hummed softly, pressing his hand to Roman's cheek tenderly. Roman buried into that steady warmth and let his eyes fall closed, unable to meet that soft look in Deceit's eyes any longer.

Why did Deceit love him? There were so many _better options_ than Roman. Whilst it was polite of Deceit to humour him, it all began to bubble horribly in the base of his throat.

"Roman," Deceit whispered again, and his voice was soft, yet thick. "Look at me, my love."

Roman swallowed it all down, and looked up at his love with shy eyes and a gentle smile, pressing a hand over Deceit's with a hum.  
"What is it, mi luz?" he teased, turning his head to press a kiss into Deceit's gloved hand.  
No doubt still-gloved because Deceit didn't actually want to touch him.  
"They say the eyes are the windows to the soul," Deceit began gently, taking Roman's head in both hands, turning his head so carefully, like Roman was made of glass, so Roman had to meet Deceit's mismatched gaze and all the intensity it entailed. "And I have been gazing into your eyes long enough, my prince, to know that tonight, your eyes tell me your soul is deeply and unequivocally _sad."_

Deceit flinched at how suddenly and openly Roman's face _fell._ And it turned into confusion and concern as Roman disentangled himself from his arms and took a step back.  
"I apologise," Roman formally offered, and he was very impressed with himself, how even he managed to keep his voice. "I did not anticipate these... _feelings_ to linger as long as they have."  
Deceit frowned at him.  
Roman forced himself not to drop his chin. Showing weakness would prove that he wasn't _good enough_ , especially for Deceit.  
"Can I help?" Deceit offered slowly, voice coloured with concern. "What do you normally do on an off-day?"  
Roman shrugged.  
"I tend to keep working," he said, folding his hands behind his back. "And the feelings pass. They always do. I'll get out of your hair."

Roman turned to leave but Deceit grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"Roman," Deceit said bluntly. "That's what we call _repression."_  
Roman froze, wide-eyed, before trying to shake Deceit's grip.  
"Roman, what do you do to look after yourself?" Deceit asked again, more forcefully (more desperate) this time. "How do you take care of yourself on a bad day?"

"What do you want me to say?!" Roman cut back, trying to twist out of Deceit's grasp once more. "Rose petal baths? Spaghetti? Disney movies? I _don't,_ okay? Why waste all that on-"

_On someone like me,_ was what Roman was going to say. But he found that he had his hand pulled over his own mouth before he could finish. And by the time he could pull it free, his lips were captured by Deceit's, whose breathing was hitching with what Roman realised was _sobs_ and his eyes were wide open and confused even as Deceit pulled away, because this reaction was _not_ what he'd expected.

He'd expected... hatred, maybe. Distaste, certainly. He'd expected Deceit to all but spit in his face and turn him away for even daring to be broken.

"My love," Deceit breathed, and Roman's own breath hitched at how it was still _'my love'._ "Roman, what would you like first? The bath? The movies? We are not putting off looking after you for another _second."_  
"I do not wish to be a hassle," Roman half-laughed. "I'll be fi-"  
"Loving you is no _hassle,"_ Deceit cut him off. "How often? How often do you mask your sadness behind that radiant smile of yours? How many faҫades have I kissed? How many times have I neglected you?"  
"You've done no such thing," Roman tried to argue, but one look into Deceit's watery eyes silenced him.

"Who was it who convinced you?" his love whispered, pulling him in tight. "Who told you that you were only worth it if you were perfect? I need to know, so I know who to turn to dust."

Roman laughed wetly at that, but it wasn't until Deceit rubbed his thumb under Roman's eye ever so softly that Roman noticed he was crying.  
"Come, my love," Deceit smiled, equally as damp. "We're going to have a self-care day."  
"Can't have a self-care day if you don't care about yourself," Roman blurted dryly, before he flinched back in preparation for the reaction he was bound to get.

Instead, Deceit pressed a soft kiss into Roman's temple and pulled him in close, letting Roman bury his nose in the crook of Deceit's neck.  
"I'll teach you," he said thickly. "It's not going to be easy, but you deserve to understand just how much you're worth it."

Deceit was always good with words. Good enough to jab at something in Roman's unequivocally sad soul and make the tears start flowing in earnest, until Roman was sobbing openly into Deceit's shoulder.

"Until then," Deceit vowed through a shaky tone, "I'll love you enough for both of us. I promise."


End file.
